My car and my day

And Another from MySpace:

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 2:56pm
My car and my day.

My Mustang is off with a guy named Gary, owner of Gary's Mustangs, getting the windshield resealed. The guy was recommended to me by a Mustang part store and the worker there swore up and down that this guy was the only person he would use. The name "Gary's Mustangs" is comforting too, at least it sounds like he knows what he is doing. So my baby is off getting fixed. Yeah! Plus he even came and picked it up for me since this is my daily driver and everyone I know with a vehicle was either working today or I felt weird asking for a ride to Damascus(sp?) to both drop off and pick it up, this worked out really well.

My driver side quarter window has also been giving me trouble and hasn't been rolling up or down and has been stuck in a slightly down position leaving about a 2 inch gap. I thought from all the research I have been doing that I was going to need a new regulator to fix this. This is a $50-80 part depending on were you get it from, I have even seen it priced up to $108. Well Gary gets here opens the door, jiggles the handle on the window pulls it back up into place(something I tried to do but was worried I may break something so I stopped) and tells me that no I don't need a new regulator just some new rollers, 2 in fact, a little grease, a wire brush and some grease cleaner. I only need about $5 in supplies to fix this damn thing that I have been putting off for a month because I didn't have any cash to buy the stupid part. So I just need these silly little rubber rollers that run $1 each and some cleaner since my Dad had the rest of the things I need.

Plus my Dad has rented a garage to use to work on his car and is going to let me use it and his tools as I need to. Hooray for warm dry garages.

So hopefully I can get the window fixed this weekend and if everything seems to be staying dry I am also going to install my stereo. I will have music in my car again! While the current stock AM radio is great, classic, and will be staying in place; it's 3 stations I have managed to get in just don't compare to a little Flogging Molly or Finger Eleven while you are driving around.

So I am restlessly waiting to get my car back. I was sad to see it drive away this morning. Very strange feeling seeing someone else driving my car and stepping out for a smoke and it not being there. Bobby drove it once about 4 blocks to Fred Meyer and decided he wasn't comfortable doing it again, because he didn't want to be responsible for the possibility of it getting hurt. So since I have owned the car I really am the only person who has driven it. hmmm...over protective much. Either way I am trying to be patient.

Today feels like a lazy day to me. I should be working since I am stuck at home but despite it being 2:45 in the afternoon the only work I have gotten done is a quick check of my e-mails and voice messages and talking to the exterminator, James, about music and movies for 30 min. (Not exactly work but he was here to do some, lol) The rest of my day has been spent playing Final Fantasy 7, dinking around on myspace, looking up parts for my car, and wishing I had a way to go get some coffee. I do more work when I have stuff to do out of the house all day. So my cry of desperation and dorkyness...come back car I am wierdly co dependent and I miss you. Annndddd....I want coffee.

Can't Sleep

Just thought I would move over some blogs I had on Myspace:

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 1:14am
Can't Sleep Current mood: inspired Category: Life

I'm am unable to sleep as I had a little too much espresso so I figured I would write. I used to write much more regularly when I was in high school but for some reason I have gotten out of the habit. Granted back then it was horrible poetry full of my rebellious melodramatic teen angst that looking back now just shows me how much I was a child, despite by unfaltering belief that I was just as grown up and mature as most 30 year olds that actually had there shit together. Of course I believed this despite my barely passing grades and a crappy part time job a dairy queen that out in the real world would have barley fed me let alone provided any sort of shelter or the ability to pay my bills. I also had a few bad habits and thought process I wont go into due to a few possible audience members and not wanting to listen to their mother bitch me out for being a bad influence if she were to find out. It is amazing to see how much life can change, in over the reality of a average life, in only a few short years. I am still clinging to parts of my crazy teen years, a desperate attempt on my part to maintain some individuality and a little excitement in my life, but overall I am becoming a grown up. However, I am still learning what that means.

As some of you may know 2008 was a hard year for me. I suffered a loss and it has made me question who I am and what I want from my life. Answers are still foggy and the jury at times is possibly out on my level of sanity, but I am learning to be happy with me. I have spent most of my life taking care of others, my little brother, friends, my husband, and it has often left me neglecting the things I needed and wanted. But I have started a new chapter in my life, I have begun taking care of myself. I have found a few things that I enjoy doing, I have begun leaving my house more often and spending time in the world. I have reclaimed a bit of the social butterfly in myself that I use to be a large part of my personality when I was younger. I am slowly making new friends as I unfortunately lost real contact with most of my old ones during my hermit days. I am finding happiness again. This of course has changed a few relationships, some not always in the most positive of ways, as I have had to make changes and sacrifices. While some of the states of these relationships have caused some stress, sadness, and anger recently, I am holding on tight. I however am hoping that these things will in time work out however they are supposed to with some gentle smoothing of feathers, some work, and faith in who I am becoming is the right path and the peace I am gaining knowing that it is okay to take care of myself.

I really do feel as though I am claiming a little piece of this world for my self day by day. I am working through some grief that I held off on feeling and have resigned my self to becoming a solid, sane, generally happy person. I am starting to make goals again and am slowly starting to take my baby steps necessary to make them a reality. I have started seeing a counselor (judge if you want, it is a great impartial sounding board) she doesn't say much but I get to talk out whats in my head and help myself work toward a solid thought process. I guess she is similar to an expensive journal who throws in a few insights and affirmations here and there but it works for me for the time being. Hey! what can I say I'm a bit crazy and that's okay, it gives me character.

I've decided to go back to school in the Fall. I am fighting the fear of failure and am going to make the leap and go get my bachelors degree. I miss school so much, I can't even describe how mushy I feel my brain has become in the last 9 months. I miss the arguments in sociology the thrill of learning something new everyday I even miss the stress of staying up late to finish a 10+ page paper. So my major is going to be.....have to build a little suspense here.....Business management with a focus in finance and I am hoping to get a minor in Public health education. I just can't give up the health field, I tried but I love it too much. I really want to do financial planning, I am a complete dork and obsessed with money management and ways to save money. Go ahead and laugh or think I am weird if you must, I am freely admitting to the myspace world, or at least those of you on my friends list, that I am one of those crazy people who enjoys crunching the numbers and balancing my check book. I am hoping to have a Masters Degree in 4 years or less, but I am just going to take things one step at a time and leave it at that. So PSU, I will defeat you, I will win. Take that.

So to my new world, I am excited, anxious, and hopeful to meet you and all you have to offer to me. I may fall on my ass, but I have every intention of getting back up brushing myself off and continuing to find the beauty that life can give me.

To those of you that made it through this...wish me luck. I also apologize for any spelling errors, it is 1am and myspace wont let me copy to word to use spell check.

-Nicole

Update on my 101 things

So I have decided to scrap my 101 things list. While I still should do some of the things on the list and they are good things to work towards I have found my self not wanting to Blog on here because I feel as though I have to complete or work on one of the items on the list to be able to write. I may still cross of anything I do on it if I complete them but I have other things going on in my life that I would like to focus on for the time being. The list just doesn't feel all that important right now and some of the items just seem silly. So I am consciously deciding to give up on the list and put it on the back burner. Aaaahhhh, ok so onto a new day and a new mind set for blogging.