It's Hard to Come Up With a Title

Yesterday was Bobby and my first day with our new marriage counselor. Her experience and the fact that she graduated with honors for both her BA and Masters degree from PSU were a big draw for us. We were seeing graduate students at PSU counselling clinic before and while they did help us work on some of our communication issues, we had run into a road block with them. Our new counselor use to run the PSU clinic, she use to be the director of the sexual assault prevention and women’s self defense program, Women strength, for the Portland Police Bureau. She founded an organization providing education on child abuse, sexual assault and domestic violence. She has tons of training is different specialties one of which is marriage and family counselling. She now works a Providence hospital providing assessments and therapy she is the founder of the clinic she is giving us counselling through. The big draw was how she described her style on her website:

"My style is best described as forthright, grounded, honest and open. Therapy
with me is often challenging, frequently lighthearted, and always, always
supportive. I am relentlessly curious and I encourage you to be just as curious.
We’ll both ask and answer lots of questions. My expectation is that through your
thoughtful and honest consideration of these questions, and of my feedback as
well, you’ll find the solutions you’re looking for.One thing my clients will
tell you is that I’m a stickler for truth-telling. I try to be watchful, helping
clients recognize when they’re holding themselves (or me) at arm’s length from
the truth."

I see this style as just what we need. We need someone to be honest with us and tell us what we are doing wrong. We have lost a lot of our connection and haven't been able to find it again on our own.

I felt that our first session was really good, granted we are in the getting to know each other stage, but I really felt that she was asking real relevant questions rather then "and how did that make you feel". She was really trying to figure out what we needed and who we are as well as who we were. I think that this really could be a good positive thing for us and that she really may be able to help us. When I told her that we were looking forward to being told the real truth and being told what we have been doing wrong she was very receptive. Most counsellors seem to shy away from telling you "no, that is bad, you shouldn't be acting that way" but I think she may very well be willing to do that. She was also willing to work with the price a bit for us so we could do weekly sessions and then we will later go to longer then usual length bi-weekly sessions. I really am excited to see where this will lead us. I am really feeling optimistic.

I've been continuing to spend more time with Bobby lately. It really has been nice to just be around him and just be able to enjoy it rather then worry about all of the other stuff.

I was going through some files on my computer and found these. They always make me smile.
Bobby's:

Nicole (leaving out rest of name for privacy purposes), you have made me happier then I ever imagined I could be. You have brought light and warmth into my life that makes each day better then the last. You are my inspiration, my love and my best friend, and everyday I find something new to love about you. And so I commit myself, with all of the joy and love I possess, to be your husband. I promise to hold you when you are scared, to listen and comfort you when you are sad. I promise to take pride in you achievements, and joy in your happiness. I promise to support you and to be the best husband I can be for you. I promise to love you like a pineapple and to be your best friend, everyday, for the rest of my life.

Mine:


I have prayed for a man who would sweep me off my feet and share my feelings, hopes, and dreams. I dreamed of being in love and of someone loving me, but I never dreamed I could find someone who understood the love inside of me so completely. I dreamed of sharing my thoughts, but never dreamed someone could hear me without words. In my darkest troubles, in my brightest joys, in my coldest silence, in my warmest thoughts, I looked for you and you were there. Thank you for sharing in my belief that a day well-lived makes every yesterday a memory of love and tomorrow a vision of hope.
Bobby, I love you completely, as I did yesterday and as I will tomorrow. I will be there for you when you need me most. I will hold you in my heart as I do in my arms. I will share with you in your dreams, delight in your joys, and comfort you in your sorrows. I will be you confidant, your counsel, your friend, and your lover. When you are not within my sight, you will be in my thoughts. You are my life, you are my dreams, you are my joy, you are my love. At this moment you are all that I know and all that I see. As we grow old together and our love matures, may we hold on to the passion and affection for each other that we feel today. Not only do I love you today, not only will I love you for the rest of my life, I will love you for all of eternity. Bobby, this is my solemn vow to you.

I was planning to write more then this but I am tired and needing to go to bed so I am out for the night.